Showing posts with label what is the best way to end a relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what is the best way to end a relationship. Show all posts

Friday, November 20, 2009

Worst Ways To End Relationship

Neil Sedaka’s 1962 hit “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” is not a pop song, it’s a statement of fact. Ending a relationship is never easy -- there’s always hurt, frustration, upset, and general unpleasantness. Though it’s not ever something that you can transform into a barrel of laughs, there are gradations of bad when it comes to ways to breaking up (and we're going to explore the worst ways to break up with a woman). After all, not all exes are immediately classed as pariahs. It is possible to have good memories of a past love gone wrong. However, you need to realize that no matter how much you've invested, no matter how many sweet and romantic things you've done, if you mess up the split itself, that’s how you’ll be remembered.

Think about it: It’s the last thing you’ll do as a couple, and if it’s horrible, it’ll be the first thing she’ll recall whenever she thinks about you. This translates into a pretty bad public relations move on your part given that if there’s one thing you can say about women, it’s that they talk. Certainly, women are resilient. The tears will dry and she’ll recover, but in the interest of upping the potential for fond recollection, you might wish to avoid the following worst ways to end relationships

No.10 - Under the influence

A little Dutch courage might make taking the plunge a touch easier, but a sloppy split becomes all the more sloppy if you’ve had one or two or a few too many. Being high is also, quite obviously, ill advised. It is near guaranteed that breaking up will not go well if you’re giggling uncontrollably, paranoid, jonesing for barbecue chips, or experiencing the symptoms of having used altering chemicals. This goes for her as well; if you know she’s not all there, it’s one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. You want to make sure that you are both of sound mind when you’re breaking the bad news.

No.9 - With cliches

Let’s just be clear here. Saying: “It’s not you, it’s me” is ridiculous. You’re breaking up with her. You don’t want to be with her. There’s something (or some things) about her that you just aren’t into. Also, saying: “Let’s be friends” is plain disrespectful. If you’re ditching the situation, you owe her the respect of taking a step back. Leave her alone. If you ended it, you have no say on the friendship potential. That’s her choice, and you need to suck it up, stay away and ditch the cliche mode as it is definitely one of the worst ways to break up with a woman.

No.8 - Mid date

Telling her that it’s over before, during or after a date is the emotional equivalent of an ambush. It’s just not honest. She’ll know immediately that your plans were disingenuous because that’s in fact exactly what they were. If the goal of the meeting is to finish the relationship, tell her that you need to discuss the relationship. Don’t tell her you’re going out for dinner or watching a movie -- and it doesn’t matter what movie, because a post-date breakup is bound to have an unhappy ending.

No.7 - Remotely

Yes, this is the 21st century, but breaking up is pretty much stuck in the past. Don’t even think about ending it online. Dear John letters have always been disastrous, so the modern equivalent via e-mail is completely unacceptable and flagged as one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. Yes, advances in online chatting and instant messaging now allow you to see and hear, but it still ain't live. Phone call breakups have never been easy, so be a man: Do it in person. And if all this doesn’t tell you that text messaging is an absolute no-no, you’re probably too far gone to be helped anyway.




No.6 - Post-milestone

If you have any inkling that it might not be right, you don’t want to be making any major moves like purchasing a house or a puppy. Everyone knows that divorce is not a walk in the park, but it’s also difficult to dissolve the partnership if you’ve decided to move in, buy a house, get a car, or make any other investment together. If making that investment doesn’t sit well, you need to get out of there. It’s never too late to end a bad situation, but why make it especially hard on both you and her by waiting even a minute too long and making it one of the worst ways to break up with a woman?

No.5 - By assumption

Sure, you’re clear on how you feel, but you’d better be sure she is too. Don’t take it for granted that a brief mention of how things aren’t going terribly well will be accepted as an end to the affair. What you say can be taken a number of different ways. You need to make sure that you limit this possibility for interpretation, so spell it out. Don’t count on anything less than a clear statement that the relationship is done. If you’re not saying it, she’s not going to hear it.

No.4 - Through provocation

When a little boy pesters a little girl, it usually means that he has a thing for her. If, instead of getting straight to the point, you turn pestering into provocation to locate a convenient moment to dissolve the partnership, this is going to be mighty confusing, annoying and angering for her and it's one of the worst ways to break up with a woman. Sure, you may disagree over which CSI is superior, but if you make this the relationship-defining issue, you can count on being confirmed as crazy.

No.3 - Publicly

Though from the outset, it may seem like a good idea to break the news in a public place, it’s like a no-man’s land, and that’s just the problem. With public breakups there’s no telling what might happen. In this situation, the event is simply not contained. If she gets upset, then you're responsible for making her cry in public. If she’s angry, you look bad as well. Public humiliation is never desirable (for you or her), so close the door to this possibility and stick to locations that offer you and your soon-to-be ex a level of privacy.

It’s guaranteed that it’ll be over if she finds out you’ve cheated, but you’ll also be forever known as the bastard she caught cheating. It doesn’t matter how much you want to get out, or how much another woman catches your fancy, you’re bound to look bad if there’s any awkward overlap. Also, once you’ve done the deed, you’re technically available immediately, but if you want to up the positive-memory potential, you’ll probably want to wait it out a bit (like the notice you provide when leaving a job, a couple weeks is probably enough) before bouncing back into the dating scene.

No.2 - By cheating

It’s guaranteed that it’ll be over if she finds out you’ve cheated, but you’ll also be forever known as the bastard she caught cheating. It doesn’t matter how much you want to get out, or how much another woman catches your fancy, you’re bound to look bad if there’s any awkward overlap. Also, once you’ve done the deed, you’re technically available immediately, but if you want to up the positive-memory potential, you’ll probably want to wait it out a bit (like the notice you provide when leaving a job, a couple weeks is probably enough) before bouncing back into the dating scene.


No.1 - Through avoidance

Again, clarity is the best policy. Yes, if you just quit answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, and your door, she’s bound to get the message, however, she’s also bound to get mighty upset, and you should know this is the worst way to break up with a woman. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment -- because it will take time and energy to dodge and weave between repeated cracks at communication -- take the high road and end it with dignity. She’ll most certainly still be hurt, but she won’t be left with the image of you as an unfeeling, insensitive ass who won’t pick up the phone.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Best Way To Break Up With Someone

There are ways to go about breaking up that will give you the best chance for a smoother trip through one of life's most difficult passages. This is an exceedingly sensitive time when it doesn't take much to stir things up. Fortunately, because we go through this with other couples a few thousand times a year, we know exactly what you can do, and the kinds of things you must avoid, to make breaking up as smooth as possible. So here is the Best way to break up with someone .

Whether you are a married couple, or have been living together in a long-term committed relationship, breaking up is almost always painful, but the essential thing is to avoid unnecessary pain and cost, much of which can be avoided or minimized if you are careful. It is essential to avoid words and actions that escalate from hurt, fear, and anger to hostility, lawyers, courts, and huge expenses. That would be very hard on you, on your kids if you have any, and devastating to your pocketbook.

For couples who are not married, breaking up presents many of the same challenges. In this discussion, if you replace divorce with breakup and spouse with partner, it will work the same for you.

If you decide to separate, don't do one more thing or say one more word to your spouse until you understand the rest of this article, and have read the other articles listed at the end. The way you announce the decision, or respond to it, will make a huge difference in the way things unwind.

The most common cause of conflict in separation and divorce is lack of mutuality in the decision—in other words, both spouses haven't accepted the idea that you're breaking up. Ideally, the decision would be arrived at together, but in most cases one spouse decides alone after taking time to think about it, get advice from friends or professionals, process emotions and make plans. Once the decision is made, it is presented to the other spouse as a done deal and the sooner the better. Opportunities to solve problems and possibly save the relationship have been lost. What's worse, a long, hard divorce is more likely because the first spouse is ready to break up right away while the other spouse is upset and still working through denial and resistance. This person hasn't had time to process the reality and will be in some kind of emotional upset, in no way ready to discuss details or work out accommodations.

This is not a good time to push along on the breakup, even though the first spouse is ready and highly motivated to do so. Moving along too quickly at this point is the root cause of a lot more trouble to follow. If you are the first to decide, you are in a unique and powerful position to affect the future tone of the divorce. By being abrupt and insensitive, you can almost guarantee a bitter, expensive divorce.

If you want to encourage a sane resolution of divorce issues, be patient, be sensitive, but most of all, slow down. Give your spouse time to process the changes. Stay positive and as close to your spouse as possible. You can express caring and concern while being firm in your decision. Work with your spouse until you can both accept the fact that going your separate ways is inevitable, and you can both focus on moving forward. This is the best way to break up, and will lead to the best result.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

How To End A Relationship

It's time to end your relationship. But you're struggling to do it and always asking how to end a relationship . Here's some practical advice to help you bring your relationship to a close. Also what to do if you can't quite bring yourself to end it (even though you know you should).

A relationship not working out is rarely about blaming or there being anything wrong with either you or your partner. It's just that the two of you are not compatible. Remember this when going through the process. The only other significant reasons for break-ups are because of physical or emotional abuse. Virtually everything else is a compatibility issue.

Sometimes the truth hurts
'You're too fat, I don't find you sexually attractive and you're crap in bed'
Would you want to hear that? I doubt it. I also suspect you don't really want to hurt your partner, so sometimes it's best to avoid telling the whole truth. Not lie. Just not go in to all the details where you know it will hurt them.

Prepare for them asking 'Why?'
If your partner doesn't want the relationship to end they'll want to know why it's ending - so they can try to change. There's an easy way and a difficult way to answer this.
If you answer them with a reason about them, then they still have the option to try to change themselves and you've given them a life line to grab at. They'll definitely start to beg for another chance to change.

If you make it about you, then there's a lot less they can grab on to or argue about to make you change your mind. You may want to keep it simple, lines that I know work and may be worth memorizing are:

• It’s not you, I just have to focus on my career right now.
• I just don’t like who I become when I’m with you. I really need to sort myself out.
• I don’t think I’m really over my ‘X’, I’m sorry I made a mistake.
• I’m sorry I’m just not ready for this commitment right now.
• I just have a gut feeling that we’re not going to work out in the longer term and I really need to say goodbye.

In person, by phone or text!How? That's a common question.

The best way for them, and the one that shows most respect for them, is in person - face to face. It's also the most difficult for you to do. But the bottom line is that it's the one that your partner deserves.

If you really can't bring yourself to end it face to face then write a letter. Work out whether you want to offer to meet up and discuss it once they’ve read it. Sometimes a clean break is the only one that will work.

Never, ever, ever, ever by text. Yes, technology is great, but texting is highly inappropriate, offensive and hurtful. In effect is says you're only worth 10p and 180 characters. Not nice! To be honest, I knew you'd never consider that method anyway. But some people do ask.

Expect them to hit back (metaphorically!)
Sometimes people can take the end of a relationship in their stride. Sometimes it hurts so much that the only thing they know how to do is to try and hurt you back. That comes in the form mostly of verbal or emotional mud slinging. And yes, you may hurt as a result of it.
You'll question whether it was the right thing to do. You'll hurt because you'll think that what they've said or done is true. Try to remember, or remind yourself by reading this paragraph again, that they are only trying to hurt you because they feel so hurt inside themselves.
Rather than continue the mud fight, try to be a grown up and leave the argument before you feel the need to sling it right back at them. With all that mud around, it's a slippery slope.

When it's over, it's over
After virtually any length of intimate relationship you're going to yearn to get back together after wards, even if you're the person that ended the relationship and you knew it was 100% the right decision. This is normal and natural but it’s important that you resist it unless you’ve been apart for months and realize you’ve made a mistake.

Getting back together after a few days or weeks, just for old times sake, is generally just another way of extending the pain of a break up. It’s motivated by sadness or loneliness and is rarely a good idea. Try to avoid doing this, you only stand to hurt your partner more. And I know that’s not what you want to do!

Friday, November 6, 2009

When Is It Time To End A Relationship

How does your relationship look? Is it full of arguments, misunderstanding and complaints? Do you feel that it is impossible to go ahead with this relationship even though it was once the best thing that happened to you? Have you tried everything from taking to counseling but still feel that the relationship is getting nowhere? Then, it is probably time to move on.

Leaving a relationship is not easy, especially if you have been together for a while. It is even more difficult when it is a marriage relationship. Both partners have become so used to having each other around that he prospect of starting over alone leaves them afraid. They would much rather put up with an unhappy relationship than feel alone. But unhappy relationships result in unhappy people and take a toll on every aspect of life from your job to your health.

When is it time to end a relationship ?

1. There is no joy in the relationship. There might have been a time when you looked forward to seeing your partner and spending time with them but things may have changed. If you no longer find happiness in being together and if there is no understanding in the relationship, it is time to move on.

2. There is no communication between partners. Partners tend to drift apart and avoid talking to each other. You ought to try your best to talk to the other person and let them know what you feel or what you are going through. But when all else fails, remember that there is no point in spending a lifetime trying to communicate.

3. You dread the prospect of being alone. If you find yourself desperately seeking the company of your friends, relatives and even kids just so that you can avoid having to be left alone with your partner, chances are the relationship is on the route to failure.

4. There are too many criticisms and complaints. You and your partner may have loved and appreciated so many things about each other but if these good things have given way to criticism and fault finding, it is indicative that you are not happy with each other.

5. Changing each other. Do you and your partner constantly keep trying to change each other? Relationships thrive when each partner accepts the other just as they are. There is no use trying to change someone into something that they are not.

6. Wondering about your relationship. Do you keep wondering whether you should continue in this relationship? This very fact shows that you have a gut instinct that the relationship won’t work.

7. You argue a lot. Fights and spats are part of every relationship and up to a certain extent, they are good and perfectly normal but there is nothing normal about arguing 24x7. If you keep fighting, it shows that you just can’t stand each other anymore.

8. Feel depressed. Do you feel awful and downright depressed when you think about your relationship with your partner? Then it is high time to put an end to it. Depression can ruin your health and your life. So don’t wait till you reach that point. Either get your relationship straightened out or just leave.

9. One-sided relationship. Is the relationship one sided with one partner doing all the giving and the other doing all the receiving? If so, one person is very unhappy in that relationship and it is time to work on it.

10. What do your friends say? Your friends may have noticed how your relationship has changed over time. Ask them for their opinion. Do they feel that you will be able to work around your problems or do they feel that you and your partner are simply not made for each other? Don’t hesitate to take their opinion and suggestions.

The most important thing to remember is to work hard on your relationship before walking out. Try all the possible means by which you can work things out with your partner. It is easy to walk out in a relationship but finding love and keeping it is a tough task.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Reasons To Break Up

Each day, more relationships fall apart...it seems like the list of things that can end them is endless, but really most of the biggest killers are fairly simple. If your relationship is in danger or has already broken apart, I'm here to help you by listing off some of the main reasons people go their separate ways. Once you know what are the reasons to break up , you can now fix it!

1) Unfaithfulness is a supreme destroyer of relationships...nothing really wounds a person so much as when his/her partner isn't happy enough at home that he/she decides to go looking for what's missing in other places. Cheating on your lover is probably the coldest, most hurtful thing you can do to a person and usually results in nigh-unfixable breakups...so the best way to deal with the problem is to never have it in the first place.

2) Neglecting your partner's feelings is another really hurtful thing that can cause a breakup, and in fact does a lot of the time. People have emotions, even the guys who like to act like they don't so much...and it really hurts when they're never considered by the person whom the love the most. Always listen to your partner, and be considerate of how he/she feels.

3) Fights happen in all relationships, it's almost natural, but when tempers really soar and people just can't cool off and take things with a level head it can really cause dissension. Nobody likes to be with a person who's always flying off the handle, and can't be reasoned with. Conflicts are going to happen, but how well they're dealt with separates the people who stay together from the couples that fragment and scatter.

4) Movies have made it seem like it's only ever girls who get too controlling, and in fact film has made it even seem funny, but the truth is that both guys and girls can become overly demanding and controlling of their partners...and it's no laughing matter, as anyone who's been in that kind of relationship can tell you. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything...and if you keep hounding your partner about what goes on every minute of every day, you won't have him or her either.

5) Allowing a relationship to get boring and stale is perhaps one of the most tragic ways that one can end, as it's pretty much just a case of so little going on that a person doesn't really care anymore. Lack of spontanaeity and "spice" is a relationship's enemy, although you don't have to freak out if you aren't doing something new every hour. Spend time together, and do things that are fun for both of you! It's crazy to simply let a relationship "reach its expiration date."

6) Annoying habits in small numbers can be almost endearing, but when they start to take over it can be a serious problem. Usually just having a bad habit of biting your nails or tapping your foot won't end a relationship, but when these things are a blatant constant and in larger numbers than just two or three, they can add a lot of stress that can make normally minor problems impact your partner a lot more. Everyone has a few bad habits, but in the interest of peacekeeping it's a good idea to try to ease up on the things that really drive your partner crazy.

There are a lot of things that can contribute to the "demise" of a relationship, and these are really just a few of them...but by thinking this way you should have a good shot at identifying any of the things that are really hurting your relationship...and if you're in the middle of a breakup, then addressing problems like these could really help your chances of getting through it with your partner still by your side!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

What Is The Best Way To End A Relationship

The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt others, especially somebody they have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in yourself! When you allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you’ll foster resentment towards the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future. Why would you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing you to feel guilty? Respect yourself!!

So what is the best way to end a relationship? A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief caused to his partner

Don’t just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away. You might have learned a little bit about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That only tends to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what you want.

The "I think you're a great girl and I don't deserve you" line will seem ok to her at first, but later on she will start to resent that. She could also go into how you DO deserve her and try to convince you.

Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person, with respect and dignity helps soften the blow.

When you break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to tell her that the relationship isn't’t going anywhere. In our workshops we teach how verbal communication is only 7% of the total communication between people. If she also sees closed off body language it will be easier for closure for her eventually.

Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye contact and read your body language. The universal line of “ we need to talk." should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming and helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time between the “We need to talk" and actual breakup as the waiting time in between is very uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in the exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that the relationship has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might help neutralize some of the new sad ones.

Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for anothers feelings. It is important to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying) than give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest you are not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt , and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel horrible.

Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try to get cozy with the person as this can really mess with somebody’s head a lot as they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This is the only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Relationship Break Up Advice

Break ups are a most difficult part of life and relationships. When you are first starting that relationship, everything is new and exciting. Many times, as the relationship wears on, it becomes hard to be with someone who may not be right for you. As a result, many couples give up. If you are on this situation today, then here is a relationship break up advice to help you get through this hard situation.

Break ups can be amenable, but much of the time it is a very ugly situation. After a breakup, it is very common to feel disgust, contempt, or even hatred for your ex-significant other. If you have broken up with someone or someone has broken up with you and you are experiencing hatred toward them, this is a very unhealthy scenario. There are several reasons to try to get over the hatred you feel for your ex. First it is not healthy for you. Another reason is that there is no guarantee that your ex is as miserable as you are. The final reason is that you will find peace with yourself if you can get past this feeling of scorn.

The first reason to try to get over the hatred you feel for an ex is that it is physically unhealthy for you. This hatred that you feel for your ex causes extreme stress and unrest. This can be very bad for your body, as stress, not resolved, is a very harmful hormone that is released throughout your body. Seeds of hate can eat away at your physical body in a manner that is totally unhealthy. Being stressed out over something can make you physically sick. Stress has even been known to contribute to irregular heart beat. Your health is certainly more important than stressing over a past relationship.

Another reason to move past hatred you are feeling is that your misery may be one-sided. If you are hung up on your ex and are obsessing over your hatred of him or her everyday, you may be the only one suffering. The case may be that your ex has moved on completely and doesn’t even think about your relationship anymore. While you are being eaten up by a caustic emotion, the person who is the object of your hate is not even fazed. That is pretty unfair when you think about it.

The final reason to get over your hatred for someone you used to date, besides your physical health is your emotional health. Just as your physical health can be affected and deteriorate, your emotional health can do much the same thing. Hatred is an emotion that can torment the person experiencing it. You might begin to become reclusive, and you might withdraw from your normal routines, and friends. This is definitely not emotionally healthy for you.

Overall, it is just not a good idea to let anger and hatred get the best of you. There are so many negative effects on your personal life that you should try your best to, if you can’t forgive, forget. Though it won’t be easy like flipping a switch, you can talk yourself out of a negative mood and into a positive mood if you repeat the effort every single day. Remind yourself that you are a great person and that, when you are ready, someone else will be very lucky to be in a relationship with you. Keep your eyes focused on the future instead of the past, and you will find the inner strength to get you over your hate, and get on with your life after a bitter break up.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

What Is The Best Way To End A Relationship



Ending a relationship is never easy. Actually, it is one of the hardest things to do since you will have to consider what your partner will feel. Often times, you have sleepless nights thinking things over and over because you do not want to regret your decision in the end. So, the big question is what is the best way to end a relationship?


Letting go of a relationship is as hard on the person who is ending the relationship as it is on the person who is being broken up with. For sure, you do not want to hurt your partner because he or she has been close to you for months or even years and you do not want to be guilty because of your action.


The first thing that you have to keep in mind is that when ending a relationship, you have to do it in person. It is always better that you talk about it in person and you explain to him or to her the reason why it is better to be that way. By doing it personally, you show sincerity and integrity. That way, whatever is the reaction of your partner, you will be able to know immediately and closure will be easier achieved.


However, it is never easy to end a relationship personally. You have to choose the right words so your partner will be able to accept and understand your reason. It is always better to say things in person than to do it on the phone, email, or even through a letter. This has to be done face to face where both of you can have eye contact and see each other’s reactions. Then explain one by one the signs of an unhealthy relationship that occurs on your relationship.


Ending a relationship is really a very difficult thing to do. However, if you know exactly what to do and how to do it gracefully, you will be able to go through with it without feeling guilty.


Just make sure that you say the words sincerely, maintain an eye contact, leave no room for doubt, and most of all do not ever back down especially when your partner started crying and you feel terrible about it.

You have to stick to your decision and make sure that your partner gets the message. If he or she could not accept your decision at once, then you have to give him or her some space but you should never give any false hopes of getting back together and healing a broken heart. This is the best way to minimize pain when ending a relationship.