How To End A Relationship

It's time to end your relationship. But you're struggling to do it and always asking how to end a relationship . Here's some practical advice to help you bring your relationship to a close. Also what to do if you can't quite bring yourself to end it (even though you know you should).

A relationship not working out is rarely about blaming or there being anything wrong with either you or your partner. It's just that the two of you are not compatible. Remember this when going through the process. The only other significant reasons for break-ups are because of physical or emotional abuse. Virtually everything else is a compatibility issue.

Sometimes the truth hurts
'You're too fat, I don't find you sexually attractive and you're crap in bed'
Would you want to hear that? I doubt it. I also suspect you don't really want to hurt your partner, so sometimes it's best to avoid telling the whole truth. Not lie. Just not go in to all the details where you know it will hurt them.

Prepare for them asking 'Why?'
If your partner doesn't want the relationship to end they'll want to know why it's ending - so they can try to change. There's an easy way and a difficult way to answer this.
If you answer them with a reason about them, then they still have the option to try to change themselves and you've given them a life line to grab at. They'll definitely start to beg for another chance to change.

If you make it about you, then there's a lot less they can grab on to or argue about to make you change your mind. You may want to keep it simple, lines that I know work and may be worth memorizing are:

• It’s not you, I just have to focus on my career right now.
• I just don’t like who I become when I’m with you. I really need to sort myself out.
• I don’t think I’m really over my ‘X’, I’m sorry I made a mistake.
• I’m sorry I’m just not ready for this commitment right now.
• I just have a gut feeling that we’re not going to work out in the longer term and I really need to say goodbye.

In person, by phone or text!How? That's a common question.

The best way for them, and the one that shows most respect for them, is in person - face to face. It's also the most difficult for you to do. But the bottom line is that it's the one that your partner deserves.

If you really can't bring yourself to end it face to face then write a letter. Work out whether you want to offer to meet up and discuss it once they’ve read it. Sometimes a clean break is the only one that will work.

Never, ever, ever, ever by text. Yes, technology is great, but texting is highly inappropriate, offensive and hurtful. In effect is says you're only worth 10p and 180 characters. Not nice! To be honest, I knew you'd never consider that method anyway. But some people do ask.

Expect them to hit back (metaphorically!)
Sometimes people can take the end of a relationship in their stride. Sometimes it hurts so much that the only thing they know how to do is to try and hurt you back. That comes in the form mostly of verbal or emotional mud slinging. And yes, you may hurt as a result of it.
You'll question whether it was the right thing to do. You'll hurt because you'll think that what they've said or done is true. Try to remember, or remind yourself by reading this paragraph again, that they are only trying to hurt you because they feel so hurt inside themselves.
Rather than continue the mud fight, try to be a grown up and leave the argument before you feel the need to sling it right back at them. With all that mud around, it's a slippery slope.

When it's over, it's over
After virtually any length of intimate relationship you're going to yearn to get back together after wards, even if you're the person that ended the relationship and you knew it was 100% the right decision. This is normal and natural but it’s important that you resist it unless you’ve been apart for months and realize you’ve made a mistake.

Getting back together after a few days or weeks, just for old times sake, is generally just another way of extending the pain of a break up. It’s motivated by sadness or loneliness and is rarely a good idea. Try to avoid doing this, you only stand to hurt your partner more. And I know that’s not what you want to do!