Tuesday, April 28, 2009

End Relationship Quiz

Every relationships have their own share of rough periods and doubts along the way. Thus, in those instances, a strong long term relationship manage to get it solved while other break up. When is the right time to give up and let go your relationship? Sometimes we don’t know how to assess, “Just how bad is it and how bad we are hurting?” So here is an end relationship quiz to assess whether your relationship is really on trouble.

The more symptoms you think are true for you and/or your partner, the more likely your relationship is in need of some help. If you have three to five checked off, you probably need a tune-up. More than five, it’s time to consider more serious therapy, either alone or with your partner, or in some cases both or maybe letting go of a relationship is the best answer.

1. You feel worse around your partner than you do when you’re on your own.

2. Your self-esteem has plummeted since you’ve been together.

3. Either you or your partner, or both of you, are dishonest with each other.

4. You often feel hurt by how you are treated by your partner, instead of feeling good while being together.

5. You complain frequently about your relationship to others.

6. One or both of you have become frequently critical of each other.

7. You are unable to approach your partner with your concerns in a reasonable way, without exploding in anger or using passive aggressive (sarcastic, outwardly compliant but inwardly defiant) behavior. Or you expect that any confrontation will only result in an unproductive fight with no change in the situation. You feel you must walk on eggshells most of the time.

8. Most if not all of the issues that come up between you remain unresolved, even when you do try to sort them out together. Therefore, one or both of you often take a “why bother?” attitude about dealing with issues. This is different from “choosing your battles,” because even important issues remain unresolved and “go underground.”

9. You lose your enthusiasm about life, and have given up most of your hobbies, friends, or interests that were important to you before getting into the relationship. Instead you are consumed about the difficulties you are having in your relationship.

10. You no longer trust your mate. This one is tricky, because some of us have trust issues, and find it hard to trust anyone. You may need help in exploring this with people who know you (and possibly your partner) well. Of course, sometimes the doubts turn out to be warranted.

11. Little things about your relationship bother you and you can’t let them go.

12. You find yourself more drawn to priorities outside the relationship than spending time together.

13. Your sex life has dwindled down to very infrequent or none at all, and at least one of you is unhappy about it.

14. One or both partners have become closer to someone else than with each other. This can be an emotional affair, or it can even be a friend, sibling, parent, or even one of the children. Obviously the most destructive of these is if there is an actual affair. Online relationships are just as destructive as if they were in person.

15. You find yourself reverting to behaviors that take you away from your partner that are not likely to support a healthy lifestyle: drinking too much, spending too much time zoning out with electronics – computer, video games, TV; escaping into your work; finding more satisfaction in singular sex (pornography, escapist fantasies, etc.) than with your partner.

Did you answer Yes to five or more of these symptoms? If yes, then it's time to think of ways to end relationships.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms and still want to pursue your relationship,then it is time to address them as soon as possible. It is usually very difficult to address these problems on your own, and getting help, or in certain cases getting out, if anyone is being abused by the relationship, including the children, is advisable.

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